Besties

Last week was an exciting time, my best friend was in the area for work which afforded us an opportunity to visit. It was the first time we clinked glasses in three years and I am convinced that we have as close of a relationship that two straight men can have (that's for Debbie in case she's reading.)

There are more than a few advantageous aspects of having a best friend that dates back to your childhood, if I only mentioned a couple I'd say: one is that unlike the trust and experiences that you build with friends in your "adult" life, a different foundation of understanding exists with a childhood bestie, the other is their ability to hold you accountable without passing judgement in a way only your wife or your immediate family are capable of.

The type of accountability that I am referencing isn't the type a man should innately posses. I'm not talking about keeping responsibilities in check or morals aligned.

I'm speaking of not having the luxury of fabricating an excuse for slowly lulling yourself into complacency. You could feed an excuse to a casual pal or acquaintance and they'd either accept it as legit or not care enough to call you out on it.

It's natural to reminisce about younger years while knocking back a few highballs, discussing current bliss and commenting on the road ahead eventually ensue. It's during the reminiscing that old goals/dreams bubble to the surface. Those goals or dreams were no doubt conceived under a blanket of childhood naivety but should it matter?

My better half penned a piece about doing things for your "older self." What would a conversation with your seventeen year old self be like? I think mine would go something like this:

Young G: "So, doesn't look like we'll ever grow a goatee huh?"

Old G: "Smart Ace, nope. We'd have to talk to a much older G to see if our fortune changes in that department."

YG: "We get to marry Ash?" Sweet!

OG: "Yes it is."

YG: "So, how many marathons have we run by age 29? Are we completely fluent in Spanish? How many Broadway productions have we starred in? Did we see the Colosseo yet"

OG: "Zero. No, zero and yes. Now, get back to class and pay attention in English, our punctuation in these posts leave little to be desired."


Motivation is a tricky lady and she can disguise herself in many forms. When the Gran Marnier wore off, the weekend came to a close and the handshake was completed I would describe my current state as revived.

What were some of the goals that you wanted to accomplish 20 years, 10 years, 1 year ago? We've all seen the novelty bumper stickers about having a plan but life getting in the way.

Is it too late to put a check mark next to your marathon? It might be tougher to accomplish with new obligations and responsibilities but we wouldn't tell our younger self to give up would we? Maybe we could revisit some of those goals and strive to accomplish modified versions of them, this time under a different type of blanket.

My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just working out in my head, what the Silver and Black Lining is.

Looking Ahead

In the interest of full disclosure, I'll start off by saying that I am working on my second (generously poured) glass of Fog Head Chardonnay. I've had an amazing day beginning with a fun family breakfast. Pierce savored his whole grain cereal, while Momma, my little sis and I enjoyed pancakes. An eventful day at Keeneland ensued which was shared with friends and that was followed by a pleasant walk in the neighborhood and an appropriate summer dinner.

Maybe it's the wine but I am having a little trouble determining the direction of this entry. Initially I was going to write about best friends and I still plan to but the picture above is the inspiration for me tickling these keys right now. When I saw it, I felt an overwhelming urge to pen the following...

I am sometimes guilty of spending so much time looking at the big picture that I don't give the "smaller image" the appropriate weight. Both of them are important. Both of the following statements are true but are contradicting approaches; If you aren't on top of every detail than the result is something gets by you, If you focus too much on the small stuff than the bigger concept goes right over your head.

Being successful on our journeys requires the correct implementation of both thought processes. A conscious "blend" of the two would be ideal. When I look at the above picture several thoughts come to mind. The first one probably doesn't have much to do with the "bigger picture" but dammit it's a "smaller image" that I care quite a bit about and I want to write about it.

If I didn't pay too much attention to the above photo, I'd say there is a daddy holding his son. If I gave it a bit more thought and tried to over analyze, I would think "there is a Daddy showing his Son something new and in that exchange of information a lesson is being taught, an experience is being shared and a memory conceived."

So, the bigger picture is that we should all enjoy the time spent with those closest to us and the small image is to make sure that we capitalize on the moments during that time spent and maximize their potential.

I think that we would improve our level of satisfaction in life if we started to view these moments with measured perspective from both lenses, big and small. Finding the balance between both is essential. Seeing what is in front of us while enjoying the present and looking ahead at the same time is a skill not easily attained.

I am not out of touch. I know that I could very easily come off as another asshole drinking wine while lecturing all of us on how we should all act or live. Sometimes I fear that these entries come off as pretentious or self serving. I don't worry so much that I lose sleep over it mostly because I know that only nine people on this planet read this thing. All that I am trying to do (besides attain a modicum of pleasure for myself) is highlight my observations.

Today was a grand day. I am thankful for all of them but days like today certainly help define things.

My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just working out in my head, what the Silver and Black Lining is.