Picture This

No longer are we content to sit on the floor and play with objects, I say objects and not toys because PZ would just assume fiddle with a travel wipes bag as opposed to any one of his 77 toys.

I like this picture because it outlines Pierce's progression over the past 30 days. Lately, his curiosity o'meter's needle is leaning hard right. About four weeks ago he started walking using his push toy (to the right in this picture.) He's progressed to walking (at a snail's pace,) along the side of furniture and around some of his toy tables.

I've come to appreciate photography on a deeper level over the last seven years. The single biggest reason being, it's the passion of the most beautiful woman on God's Earth and she happens to be my wife. My son is eleven months old today and I have taken 1100 pictures of him, his momma has easily doubled that. Those numbers are not exaggerated for effect.

I bring this up because typically when anyone flips through a series of pictures they pause for a second on each one and move on to the next. Who has time to dissect every detail of a picture? It's not even a question of time, unless it's your own kid, who wants to spend more than a second on a photo?

Just so we're on the same page, the type of photos that I am referring to aren't sailors proposing to nurses in the middle of Times Square or of ash covered first responders. Those carry a different weight and deserve different attention. You look at those pictures and try to imagine what the the scene was like in the moments before the flash and the seconds after.

I have 1100 points in time that I can warp back through, replay the scene and smile 1100 more times. In the above photo, Ash was blow drying her hair off through the door on the left. Little man and I were walking all over the house, pushing the animal farm walker, listening to roosters and cows. Pierce pushed ahead while I watched from behind. He parked his walker and used the wicker hamper to make his way over to the taller more formidable plastic hamper. This all took some time, he is getting more brave but I wouldn't put any money on him in a foot race just yet. He eventually made it to what I assume was his destination. He must have opened and shut the lid 33 times and he must have giggled oh, about.....33 times.

If I had some vino in me, this is the point where I would trail off on a tangent for a couple of paragraphs about the importance of appreciating the here and now and yadda yadda blah blah. Fortunately, I have only an Ale, so all I'll say is, take some pictures people!

My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just working out in my head, what the Silver and Black Lining is.

50 Meters

A while back I promised to write about fun family events, I couldn't think of a more appropriate day to chronicle than our first family trip to the pool.

When I reminisce about going to the pool as a child, I naturally associate it with freedom. Why? Pools open during the summer and you aren't in school in the summer. Sun screen, floaties, and cannon balls are symbolic of the type of fun that we as adults can rarely re-capture and if we do manage to grasp it for a fleeting moment it doesn't come with the child like giggle that strums a parents' heart chords.

After putting on his shorts and rash guard shirt, after applying the block and squeezing his curled toes in to his shark shoes and the hat was pulled down, it was time to venture off in to the giant bath tub. Armed with both apprehension and fascination, Pierce put one foot in front of the other until the water was just above his knees.

When he could no longer put his foot to the bottom of the pool and he became perplexed as to how his leg was floating, he became uneasy and started to vocalize his concerns it was time for Daddy to wrap his arms around his little cub and convey to him, "It's Okay. Daddy's Here."

Bouncing on my knee while in the water elicited not just a smile but a smile accompanied with a little tongue sticking out the edge of his lips, it reminded me of a puppy wagging its tail. Splashing the water and playing with the his strings made for a content little baby.

After lunch under a shady tree and a nap in Daddy's arms it was time for a shot at the big boy pool. In the interest of full disclosure, this wasn't technically our first trip to the pool. Last summer, the pool proved to be a therapeutic time for Momma while Pierce was inside her womb.

Up and down, 50 meters at a time we all three went taking the pressure off Momma's back and thinking about the upcoming summer when we would take Pierce to the pool for the first time. That is what I thought about as Ashleigh floated and kicked her way around the pool with Pierce sitting comfortably on her chest. I like to think that while they were nuzzling noses and kissing and smiling, Pierce felt a familiarity with the experience.

Pierce giggled as I joined them and we continued to chase each other back and forth 50 meters at a time.

Besties

Last week was an exciting time, my best friend was in the area for work which afforded us an opportunity to visit. It was the first time we clinked glasses in three years and I am convinced that we have as close of a relationship that two straight men can have (that's for Debbie in case she's reading.)

There are more than a few advantageous aspects of having a best friend that dates back to your childhood, if I only mentioned a couple I'd say: one is that unlike the trust and experiences that you build with friends in your "adult" life, a different foundation of understanding exists with a childhood bestie, the other is their ability to hold you accountable without passing judgement in a way only your wife or your immediate family are capable of.

The type of accountability that I am referencing isn't the type a man should innately posses. I'm not talking about keeping responsibilities in check or morals aligned.

I'm speaking of not having the luxury of fabricating an excuse for slowly lulling yourself into complacency. You could feed an excuse to a casual pal or acquaintance and they'd either accept it as legit or not care enough to call you out on it.

It's natural to reminisce about younger years while knocking back a few highballs, discussing current bliss and commenting on the road ahead eventually ensue. It's during the reminiscing that old goals/dreams bubble to the surface. Those goals or dreams were no doubt conceived under a blanket of childhood naivety but should it matter?

My better half penned a piece about doing things for your "older self." What would a conversation with your seventeen year old self be like? I think mine would go something like this:

Young G: "So, doesn't look like we'll ever grow a goatee huh?"

Old G: "Smart Ace, nope. We'd have to talk to a much older G to see if our fortune changes in that department."

YG: "We get to marry Ash?" Sweet!

OG: "Yes it is."

YG: "So, how many marathons have we run by age 29? Are we completely fluent in Spanish? How many Broadway productions have we starred in? Did we see the Colosseo yet"

OG: "Zero. No, zero and yes. Now, get back to class and pay attention in English, our punctuation in these posts leave little to be desired."


Motivation is a tricky lady and she can disguise herself in many forms. When the Gran Marnier wore off, the weekend came to a close and the handshake was completed I would describe my current state as revived.

What were some of the goals that you wanted to accomplish 20 years, 10 years, 1 year ago? We've all seen the novelty bumper stickers about having a plan but life getting in the way.

Is it too late to put a check mark next to your marathon? It might be tougher to accomplish with new obligations and responsibilities but we wouldn't tell our younger self to give up would we? Maybe we could revisit some of those goals and strive to accomplish modified versions of them, this time under a different type of blanket.

My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just working out in my head, what the Silver and Black Lining is.

Looking Ahead

In the interest of full disclosure, I'll start off by saying that I am working on my second (generously poured) glass of Fog Head Chardonnay. I've had an amazing day beginning with a fun family breakfast. Pierce savored his whole grain cereal, while Momma, my little sis and I enjoyed pancakes. An eventful day at Keeneland ensued which was shared with friends and that was followed by a pleasant walk in the neighborhood and an appropriate summer dinner.

Maybe it's the wine but I am having a little trouble determining the direction of this entry. Initially I was going to write about best friends and I still plan to but the picture above is the inspiration for me tickling these keys right now. When I saw it, I felt an overwhelming urge to pen the following...

I am sometimes guilty of spending so much time looking at the big picture that I don't give the "smaller image" the appropriate weight. Both of them are important. Both of the following statements are true but are contradicting approaches; If you aren't on top of every detail than the result is something gets by you, If you focus too much on the small stuff than the bigger concept goes right over your head.

Being successful on our journeys requires the correct implementation of both thought processes. A conscious "blend" of the two would be ideal. When I look at the above picture several thoughts come to mind. The first one probably doesn't have much to do with the "bigger picture" but dammit it's a "smaller image" that I care quite a bit about and I want to write about it.

If I didn't pay too much attention to the above photo, I'd say there is a daddy holding his son. If I gave it a bit more thought and tried to over analyze, I would think "there is a Daddy showing his Son something new and in that exchange of information a lesson is being taught, an experience is being shared and a memory conceived."

So, the bigger picture is that we should all enjoy the time spent with those closest to us and the small image is to make sure that we capitalize on the moments during that time spent and maximize their potential.

I think that we would improve our level of satisfaction in life if we started to view these moments with measured perspective from both lenses, big and small. Finding the balance between both is essential. Seeing what is in front of us while enjoying the present and looking ahead at the same time is a skill not easily attained.

I am not out of touch. I know that I could very easily come off as another asshole drinking wine while lecturing all of us on how we should all act or live. Sometimes I fear that these entries come off as pretentious or self serving. I don't worry so much that I lose sleep over it mostly because I know that only nine people on this planet read this thing. All that I am trying to do (besides attain a modicum of pleasure for myself) is highlight my observations.

Today was a grand day. I am thankful for all of them but days like today certainly help define things.

My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just working out in my head, what the Silver and Black Lining is.

Lips, Digits and Eyes

After the subject matter of my last post, I thought I'd write about one of my more favorite subjects. Something that no matter what is going on while this world is whirling around at mach 90, can make me smile.

Take a look at my little man tipping his bottle up all by himself, with a look expressing contentment.

We diagnose the looks that people give us everyday. Most of the time we're accurate but some looks can leave you to ponder their meaning. Whether it is a look from a co-worker, an acquaintance or love interest. If you get a look that puzzles you, it's natural to think to yourself "I wonder what that meant?" Were they mad, did they take that last comment wrong, does she like me?

Diagnosing the expression of an infant is a science and for new parents a quick learning curve is vital.

If you haven't noticed, I can be pretty sappy when it comes to PZH, I can't help it and "do you know what?", I don't want to help it. I want to embrace it and fertilize it.

His look fascinates me in this pic. His lips are tightly wrapped around the bottle's nipple. He's strategically placed his healthy little digits so that they're propping up the bottle, illustrating his desire to get the last drop. I am speculating at the meaning of the look that I was talking about and served as the catalyst for this post. The look we shared, was more than a look, it was a conversation.


Dad: "Hey bud, are you enjoying your breakfast that Momma made for you."

Pierce: "Yes, thank you Dad."

Dad: "I love you bud."

Pierce: "Love you too Dad."


We'll see how far off base my diagnosis is when we start to have actual conversations. When we do, I can assure you that there will be more funny, laugh out loud subject matters but that won't mean that I'll abandon the sappy ones.



My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just working out in my head, what the Silver and Black Lining is.

Mile Marker

Received some news a few days ago that caught me off guard. Our parents were right (that's not the news.) Ten years removed from High School, we don't know those friends that we passed in the halls and sat with through class. Generation Y has always been different, we do keep up through social media but we hardly "know" each other and the emphasis that we placed on each others' opinions is gone.

Prijesh Patel was not my best bud, but at one point in time I could easily describe him as a good friend. We shared more than a handful of laughs and conversations. I remember the first day that I met him. It was the first day of school in 1997. Prijesh was a Freshman and I a Sophomore. He had just moved to Ashland, understanding his role as the new kid from having been in his position exactly one year earlier, I made a point to say hey. He wasn't the new kid for long, his humor and personality were infectious.

My experience with death is limited. I have not dealt with mourning the way a lot of you have and I haven't had to cope with the crippling sadness that comes with losing someone close to you unexpectedly. I'm not saying that this was the case for me when I heard about my old friend but I was upset and bothered.

We all ponder our mortality at one point or another. When you provide for your loved ones and your life affects their well being it's only natural to think or plan in the event that you pass away. I suppose you could describe it as a mile marker on life's road traveled.

There are certainly other events that you focus on more than others. You swim through an ocean of anticipation in the months prior to getting your license or graduate and who could wait to turn 21? Those are markers that we invested more time than we care to admit thinking about. Throw in Marriage, buying your first home and Parenthood and now we're ten years and several markers removed from the night we tossed our caps.

The untimely passing of our classmates is inevitable. Others have passed too soon. While I've written in this space before about the importance of perspective, Prijesh's abrupt and unfortunate passing is a reminder to take heed of life's bigger picture. I don't care to speculate about the details or circumstances surrounding Prijesh's death, rather focus on the time that I knew him and cherish the memories that we made that first day in Biology and beyond.

Rest In Peace Prijesh.

My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just working out in my head, what the Silver and Black Lining is.

Rock-a-Bye Baby

It's 5 am........

I wrote the previous thought about 30 minutes ago and I'm struggling to come to grips with the reality that I have been up for a couple hours and my day has now officially started.

After turning on the idiot box to pass the time while the joe brewed I thought I'd punch this key board a few times to document this window in our young parenting career. Although I am struggling to come up with more than a couple lucid observations.

Who doesn't treasure a good nights sleep? Our definition of a "good" night sleep has changed over the last 15 weeks. Pierce is in bed by 8:00 and I am not embarrassed to say that we follow most nights around 10:13 pm. Pierce refills around 1 and then again about 4, although recently it seems as though the 4 am time slot is at this point more out of habit than need.

While rocking him back to sleep is one of the greater joys of my life, it leaves me awake enough to contemplate the Hernandez Household Headlines of the week and then I end up writing a blog post that makes little sense, has run on sentences, all while a shake weight infomercial is playing in the background.

The coffee is ready!