Left Hook!

Ashleigh, Pierce and I have been blessed with a smooth sailing, uneventful pregnancy (easy for daddy to say right?). That's not to say that there haven't been ups and downs, everything is relative but the last 38 weeks haven't been complicated.

You do all of the things that you are supposed to do as conscientious, loving and expecting parents: Daily Prenatal vitamins check, drinking plenty of water and then drinking a little more check, eating 47 small meals and snacks a day check, walk and exercise check, prenatal yoga check, pregnancy classes check, reading reviews on strollers, watching every headline about crib recalls and taking meticulous notes on anything and everything that has to do with the most important job that you will ever have CHECK PLUS!

After the check list is complete and you have purchased the car seat and picked out the bedding, after the nursery is painted and the closet is organized, after the crib is put together and the chair rail securely brad nailed and leveled on the wall, the only hurdles that remain are the last few doctor visits once a week for the last month.

With anticipation and anxiety at the apex you look forward to hear from your health care provider that all is well and the only thing left is to wait for GOD to complete your miracle and deliver him in to your arms. Only maybe everything is NOT OK?

Maybe, there might possibly, sort of could be a problematic variable?

"Let's do an additional ultra sound to be sure"?

I (like many people) make a concentrated effort to calculate all "what ifs" for the week, the month and the year so that I can be as prepared as humanly possible for any outlier that rears it's unexpected head.

I was gut shot! My guard down, I took a left hook that caught me clean on the temple.

"OK, doc we'll see you in two days for the ultra sound".

The orb of love and comfort that I have described before, softened. With 48 hours to digest, analyze and agonize, my thoughts ranged from one end of the spectrum to the other with the majority of them hunkering down on the more miserable side of the two.

We went through what most parents have experienced at one time or another. The crippling fear of the unknown, accompanied by a knot at the bottom of your throat which makes it impossible to swallow and ultimately you taste a salty substance on the edge of your mouth. We were treading water with cinder blocks around our ankles but giving in to the overwhelming feeling of helplessness was not an option.

After recovering from the initial impact and the irrational thoughts subsided, an innate sense of "mommy/daddy" strength emerged. A new check list of questions and concerns created and each item needed to be picked off with the same efficiency as the last, whatever it takes to regain the balance and put us back on our toes.

With appropriate due diligence executed it was determined that ALL IS WELL! There is nothing to fear. It really seemed like a series of unfortunate events took place. If any one of the six scenarios on that initial day were different, chances are there never would have been a concern, the doctor would have never called to inform us of the unnecessary ultra sound. The mental anguish would have been avoided.

One thing came to the fore front with this experience; it appears that with the stakes being higher than they can ever be, what I learned while my knees were weak and my heart aching is that as a parent, there are moments when you have less control than you've ever had before. It's out of your hands, there is little that you can do and that is terrifying!

With Love, Support and Faith as our smelling salt and life jackets we got through it. I told all 7 of you that moving forward, this blog was mainly going to be about being a Husband and a Daddy. My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just working out in my head, what the Silver and Black Lining is.