Tragic circumstances exist on this globe which (on the surface) make the lesson learned from blacking out during a marathon seem trivial. Most people probably think to themselves "that's what you get for running 26.2 miles" or some variation of that and I completely understand. "Big deal George, you blacked out, get over it, move on." My problem (or my blessing the way I see it), is that God didn't build me that way.
I enjoyed math as much as the next kid, I certainly appreciated when the professor balanced the equation, showed us the way and turned on the light when I was in the dark. This isn't about running anymore. I quit breathing last year on Manayunk Ave between miles 20 and 21 of the Philadelphia Marathon. I recognized last year that that this script could have been completely different, I'm thankful that it wasn't.
Pastor Weece says that God doesn't inflict pain on us but he sure doesn't waste an ounce of it. After my Beautiful, Supportive and Loving Wife made sure that I saw our family doctor and a cardiologist and I passed all the tests, she put some winter running gear under the tree for me. I went for an easy three miles on Christmas Day, I shuffled along for 2 miles at an eleven minute pace and walked the last. I let doubt creep in to my psyche, "maybe I should bury this running activity." I had lost so much stamina in only one months time that my claim to the ER nurse at Roxborough Memorial of "I'm coming back next year to finish" seemed like a fable.
Starting over can be frustrating but it can also be refreshing. No matter what the circumstance, whether you're moving, taking a new job or it's your second chance at a degree we tend to reflect on the time invested the first go around as a waste before the reboot instead of the experience that we gained by the failure. We can't think about the work that was lost because there was something wrong with how we built it and the reality is that failure was inevitable.
Anyone that knows me, knows that these "building metaphors" that I'm incorporating are so hypocritical because when it actually comes to fixing or building anything around the house, I live by the motto "close enough is good enough." My three year old picked up on the fact that if something goes wrong around the house "we call a guy." It's so bad that a few months ago a light bulb when out in one of the fixtures and Pierce said, "Dad, when are you calling the guy?"
One of my favorite sayings is, "I know what I don't know." I'm interested in knowing more of what I don't because if I'm not learning then I'm not growing and that is a poor example to set for my son. That doesn't mean I'm going to start tiling my own floors but it does mean that I've spent the last year learning about why God saved me and why he saves any of us.
Through his blessings I trained hard this year, indoors and out, through nine degree weather and 90. He allowed me a lot if time to reflect and pray during the 600 miles logged. I opened my heart to his word everyday, the embers that he stoked November 17th, 2013, illuminated this realization: He saves us so that we can do Great Things! "Great" is different for everyone of us. It is our mission to realize and then maximize the potential that he instills.
My good friend says that failure can tear you down or it can galvanize you. We shouldn't be afraid to fail, cautious of how not to fail is different from being afraid because if God is on your side then who can be against you ~ Need to Breathe?
After starting over I learned how to be a smarter runner, I'm thankful for the failure and the result of last year and by His Grace am stronger for it. I knew that even with one marathon completed between last year's episode and a string of PRs throughout 2014 that Philly wasn't going to be easy.
I was tactical during my training and was confident that no matter what happened, I would listen to my body and not a clock. I was cruising at a 8:40 pace through 20 miles. Making the final turnaround on Manayunk Ave was satisfying. Unfortunately, my legs started to cramp. I began a slow shuffle and after they locked up, I stood still, praying for comfort and lightly massaging them. With his help, I strung together a 14+ minute mile, a 12, and an 11. Ashleigh called after she got out of church she talked to me the last two miles, she told me the sermon that she just listened to was about slaying your giants, how's that for irony?
Proverbs 16:9
The heart of man plans his way, but The Lord establishes his steps.
The Lord established my steps those last two miles while I listened to Ash and my baby boy, they helped me cross the line to establish a new PR of 4:06. Reflecting now, I think it was fitting that my legs stiffened up at about the same spot that I blacked out last year and I think it was fitting that I didn't finish less than 3:59. It's a reminder that without his help, I can't come close to maximizing my potential. I'm here to do great things and through him, I'm going to.
You can to!
Thanks Brian
My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time I'm just figuring out the Silver and Black Lining!
P.S. If you visit Philly, stay away from Manayunk Ave.
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