AUDRA

Let's travel back in time to June 25th, 2015, Do you remember what you were doing on that day? I do! Our baby was due to arrive on July 5th, 2015. My first child, made it clear from the beginning that he was going to operate on his own schedule from opening day without regard for anyone else. He arrived eight days past his due date. I bring this up because my wife was determined to see to it that she was going to make up for the difference and get back to even with our second child.

The story starts: 

It was a Dark and Stormy Night...

I fell asleep quickly on June 25th, 2015. My wife touched my shoulder as I slept and let me know that she was having contractions. Ashleigh said that she had experienced them for the last hour. She had gone downstairs and tried to watch a movie while enduring the beginning part of labor but it was apparent that number two was going to come more quickly than number one.

You can wake up in several different ways/states. There is nothing quite like the love of your life telling you that she is going to deliver your child soon. The baby moon classes that Ashleigh made us take were invaluable the first time and were just as useful the second time. We followed our game plan to the letter. I got ready while Ash labored in the shower for as long as she could. I filled the jacuzzi tub up. She was able to knock out about 30 minutes in the shower. I called my parents so that they could watch Pierce while we went to the hospital. Ash moved to the tub, the contractions started coming quickly. My labor app said it was time to head to the hospital.

I went outside to pack up the car. Ashleigh was ready to go and waiting for me at the top of the stairs (breathing heavy). She waited for a contraction to pass and walked down the stairs while I was jacking with packing our essentials.
She had another contraction at the bottom of the stairs and absorbed it without me. She walked to the door that exits to the garage, (wondering, I'm sure where the hell I was), I met her at the door and helped her into the car. It was a down pour. Thunder and Lightning and big drops of rain.

This is where I bobbled the ball (literally and figuratively). After putting Ashleigh in to the car I went back in to the house and gave my parents last minute instructions. I also decided to grab one more tool. I feel like I have to explain why I decided that it was a good idea to bring a yoga ball with us. It proved useful the last time and I was just thinking "better to have it and not need it the to need it and not have it".

I've joked with Ashleigh and others about this three minute window in our life. As I was barking instructions to my parents with a huge purple yoga ball under my arm I heard a thumping sound that I hope I never forget. I heard this noise over the thunder and the hundreds of millions of raindrops crashing to the earth. It reminded me of the sound that the main characters from Jurassic Park were hearing for the first time. They heard a large thump and looked at each other, they saw the ripples of water in the cup sitting still in their drink holder before they heard the roar and saw the T-Rex.

I looked back to the car hoping Ashleigh was not about to be eaten by a dinosaur and saw her bare feet pressed to the windshield and kicking it while screaming through another contraction. I ran to the car (with the ball still under my arm) and opened the door. Ash looked at me and to her credit, calmly explained to me that we were not going to need the ball. I hurled it in to the garage and we headed to the hospital.

The rain was relentless, thankfully we live minutes away from St. Joe's. The contractions were coming one right after the other. Ashleigh mentioned to me that she'd be ok with having an epidural. I didn't argue with her but I knew that we were past that point and that she was going to have to this naturally and I also knew that she could do it.

We pulled up in front of the door, I was going to walk Ashleigh in and park the car. An assistant met us at the door with a wheelchair and could tell that Ashleigh was close. When he realized that I was leaving to park the car he told me to forget it. 

I wheeled her in to the lobby and the receptionist started the process of checking us in. She asked one question and Ashleigh powered through her biggest contraction yet. She, without a doubt woke everyone in the lobby. The nurse sent us right up.

The staff immediately put us in to a room. We got her in to bed, Ashleigh inquired about the epi. The nurse checked her and said, "honey, you're meeting your baby within 20 minutes, there's no time for that". I comforted Ashleigh and told her what an amazing job she had done and that despite her doubts, she was strong enough to this the way she wanted to. I looked at the nurse and told her I needed a gown and gloves stat.

Guys joke about not being able to handle watching your child come into the world. "Stay North of the equator", they joke. I'm not down with that, my thoughts are, if my wife is tough enough to deliver our child, I should be tough enough to tell her about seeing it happen. Watching my son come out of wife is the closest I've ever been to God. I couldn't feel myself standing, I felt his hand on all three of us simultaneously, he held us while it happened. It was an amazing, breathtaking moment in my life and this time, I wanted to deliver it!

We decided to not find out the sex of our third baby. We made the decision in part because after our miscarriage and struggle to get pregnant a third time, the excitement of  finding out that we were pregnant was enough to carry us to the due date. There aren't many surprises in life anymore and we wanted to be surprised.

I was gloved up and Ashleigh was pushing! Our midwife wasn't going to make it in time. The Doctor on call was next door delivering another baby so the senior nurse took the wheel. Ashleigh began the last handful of pushes. The Doctor might have walked in during the final one, the nurse coached and I encouraged Ashleigh through the last one. We saw the head, I put my had under the neck and quickly noticed that it had more hair than Pierce. The torso was out and it happened again! I felt like God took Ashleigh the baby and I into our own private room, just the four of us and no one else. I was looking at our daughter, Ashleigh wanted a girl and I was overwhelmed that I was able to make that happen for us, one of the few times in my life  I was speechless. The nurse said "she's beautiful", Ashleigh looked at me and as I handed Audra to her, I said, "meet your daughter"!

Being a Father to a Daughter is different than a Father to a Son. When you find out that you are having a son, there is an agenda that focuses your energy on raising a man. When I held my daughter for the first time, all I wanted to do was protect her and love her forever. It'd be easy to confuse those two thoughts. Of course I love my son and want to protect him and of course I'll raise my daughter to have the same morals and convictions as my son but while I would be Spider-Man for my son, I would morph into Venom for my daughter.

What I'm trying to convey is that daughters and sons touch your heart and soul differently and I am happy and blessed to have experienced the love of both.

My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just trying to figure out the Silver and Black Lining.