It's been two and a half months since my last post, as it turns out, this whole parenthood thing is more than a little time consuming. I try to stay as reflective as possible, not wanting to get caught up in the past but not forgetting where I came from and how I have achieved what I have achieved.
Reflecting on where I have been and what I have seen at this stage in life is fulfilling. If I were to make a short list, it would read something like this:
My wife's eyes as we said "I Do", Big Ben, Trafalger Square, Thames River, Churchill's War Room, London Bridge and the Crown Jewels, Eiffel Tower, Seine River, Notre Dame Cathedral, The Louvre, Mona Lisa, Rome, The Colosseo, Sisteen Chapel and The School of Athens, The Vatican, Trevi Fountain, The Pantheon, Florence, Duomo, Assisi, Venice, Michelangelo's David, New Year's Eve in Time Square, celebrating in "Cubbyville" after a win, Napa Valley Vines, Sunset in the Rockies, walking across the Golden Gate and on and on...
The previous list took about six years to compile, the following list trumps the previous and has only taken eleven weeks:
One Last Push, his eyes for the first time, my son nursing, dirty diapers, spit-up, a cry in the night, a sneeze, a cry in the day, a curled lower lip in combination with an ear piercing scream caused by inoculations, a smile, a splash and a kick in the bath tub, a coo, a yawn, attempting to vocalize, a laugh, a grab, his mother comforting him, the tight grip around my finger while we play and his innocent pupils just before he slips into his dreams as I lay him in his crib.
Recently, I haven't wanted to do anything except: hold, play, read, rocking and loving on our blessing (explains my lack of posts). There is a new constant in our life that is apart of an old constant and I look forward to Seeing us through. I look forward to making new lists together.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
My Fantastic Four
I'll begin by saying, "this is a Thank You" to; my Mom, who always knows what to do, my Dad, who sees everything that I don't, and my In-Laws. Susan and Dempsey's formal titles have In-Laws in front of them. I started courting their daughter when she was 16, that statement by itself sounds creepy but it is not because I was 17 at the time. They endured years of corny jokes and witnessed countless attempts at failed wit. However, those years did not prove fruitless. Just ask them, but when you do please refer to them by their newly minted informal titles of Nana and Poppy.
The love and support of family is a blessing a million times over because there is no end to what our parents will do for us. I might insert one of those bad jokes here about walking on the other side of the law as a possible "line in the sand" but depending on the circumstances, I'm not sure even then they wouldn't oblige.
Our four parents watched us grow up together which helped change the dynamic of how we all interact. They spent time at: dances, graduations, celebrations and now vacations and Holidays. The most recent gathering is one that I bet we never forget.
Thank You to all four of you for all of the little and all of the big things that you did for me, for Ashleigh and for Pierce this last week. I am glad that you could all be apart of September 21, 2010. Your individual contributions helped enhance this event, which speaks volumes because the event itself stands alone as one of the most euphoric moments in life.
PZH is a blessed grandson!
The love and support of family is a blessing a million times over because there is no end to what our parents will do for us. I might insert one of those bad jokes here about walking on the other side of the law as a possible "line in the sand" but depending on the circumstances, I'm not sure even then they wouldn't oblige.
Our four parents watched us grow up together which helped change the dynamic of how we all interact. They spent time at: dances, graduations, celebrations and now vacations and Holidays. The most recent gathering is one that I bet we never forget.
Thank You to all four of you for all of the little and all of the big things that you did for me, for Ashleigh and for Pierce this last week. I am glad that you could all be apart of September 21, 2010. Your individual contributions helped enhance this event, which speaks volumes because the event itself stands alone as one of the most euphoric moments in life.
PZH is a blessed grandson!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Culmination part 2
We headed down Man O War Blvd as the lead car in a caravan of three. The elevator doors opened to the second floor of St. Joseph East's new Woman's Center at 10:30 PM. We were escorted in to a registration office. Here we are, my poor wife absorbing contractions every 240 seconds and the admin lady is asking us for our licenses and insurance card, all while fighting with her printer.
After checking in to our room and meeting the RN assigned to us for the night, the first order of business was to determine at exactly what point Ashleigh would be getting the epidural? As it turned out, she ended up being the lucky recipient of TWO EPI SHOTS. The second shot came at about 3:00 AM which is when things began to intensify. Fast forward an hour, it was 4:00 AM when contractions started to come on top of each other.
I hesitate to attempt describing the cinematography of it all because re-telling it, hardly does it justice. The two grandmothers to be, stood off to the side holding each other tight. I was on Ashleigh's left side, the RN on the right and it goes without saying where our midwife (Nancy) was positioned. A few other support staff were in and out, the only other person worth mentioning is the pediatrician (Dr. Ang). I greeted him in between pushes, the enthusiasm that I expressed was not reciprocated, it appeared as though they had just woke him up.
Nancy would ask Ashleigh to push and she would oblige by putting her chin in her chest and squeezing my hand while I counted to ten. She never yelled or screamed or called me names, she was perfect. Beauty is subjective but any man who's stood by his wife's side, held her hand while counting her through pushing your son out of her body knows that it is the most beautiful event you can ever witness. The feeling that I experienced as Pierce was being delivered was a combination of almost every emotion I've ever felt in my existence raised to the tenth power.
After the final push, the newest Hernandez entered this world. I was instantly put under a spell of euphoria. The cord was clamped and clipped and our miracle was walked to the doc. With my heart thumping more rapidly than ever before and two or nine tears trickling down my cheek I rested my forehead on Ashleigh's and told her that she did it (like she didn't already know). As I gave her a kiss, we heard him say, "well, he has his Daddy's nose" it appeared Dr. Ang had finished his cup of coffee.
The culmination of 41 weeks: imagining, anticipating, preparing and believing was realized. I stood next to him, watched him get cleaned off, talked to him for the first time. Harnessing the jubilation of it all proved to be overwhelming. I picked him up, held him, I made a promise to him, walked him over to his mama and placed him in her arms.
After checking in to our room and meeting the RN assigned to us for the night, the first order of business was to determine at exactly what point Ashleigh would be getting the epidural? As it turned out, she ended up being the lucky recipient of TWO EPI SHOTS. The second shot came at about 3:00 AM which is when things began to intensify. Fast forward an hour, it was 4:00 AM when contractions started to come on top of each other.
I hesitate to attempt describing the cinematography of it all because re-telling it, hardly does it justice. The two grandmothers to be, stood off to the side holding each other tight. I was on Ashleigh's left side, the RN on the right and it goes without saying where our midwife (Nancy) was positioned. A few other support staff were in and out, the only other person worth mentioning is the pediatrician (Dr. Ang). I greeted him in between pushes, the enthusiasm that I expressed was not reciprocated, it appeared as though they had just woke him up.
Nancy would ask Ashleigh to push and she would oblige by putting her chin in her chest and squeezing my hand while I counted to ten. She never yelled or screamed or called me names, she was perfect. Beauty is subjective but any man who's stood by his wife's side, held her hand while counting her through pushing your son out of her body knows that it is the most beautiful event you can ever witness. The feeling that I experienced as Pierce was being delivered was a combination of almost every emotion I've ever felt in my existence raised to the tenth power.
After the final push, the newest Hernandez entered this world. I was instantly put under a spell of euphoria. The cord was clamped and clipped and our miracle was walked to the doc. With my heart thumping more rapidly than ever before and two or nine tears trickling down my cheek I rested my forehead on Ashleigh's and told her that she did it (like she didn't already know). As I gave her a kiss, we heard him say, "well, he has his Daddy's nose" it appeared Dr. Ang had finished his cup of coffee.
The culmination of 41 weeks: imagining, anticipating, preparing and believing was realized. I stood next to him, watched him get cleaned off, talked to him for the first time. Harnessing the jubilation of it all proved to be overwhelming. I picked him up, held him, I made a promise to him, walked him over to his mama and placed him in her arms.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Culmination part 1
You watch television and movies or read stories and imagine the event happening to you. How will it unfold: will you be eating at a restaurant when your water breaks, will you be at a sporting event and have to be taken by ambulance to the hospital because you parked too far away or will you experience contractions watching the latest blockbuster at the theater?
We were hoping to provoke the miracle by putting ourselves in those less than convenient situations because we desperately wanted to meet our little man. To be fair we were SEVEN days past our due date, we just figured that we could tempt fate and at the very least, we'd have a jaw dropping story to tell about the circumstances surrounding our labor.
Many of you already know the play by play, but seeing how that this is my journal of sorts I'll proceed like you don't so that years later I can look back and get a warm dose of nostalgia when reading this.
Monday morning was here, the start of the work week and I decided that even though Ash was not in labor or even showing any signs, that I would not go in to work. Being seven days over due, there was no end to the question from my co-workers "George, when you gonna have that baby? I couldn't take another day of it. Don't take me wrong, I am grateful to all that were concerned and showed genuine excitement for me but that question got to be the equivalent of hearing nails run down a chalk board that stretched a city block.
I knew that we had a doctor appointment early Tuesday morning, and more than likely we would be induced if we didn't go in to labor on Monday so Ashleigh and I decided to take advantage of one more "George and Ash day". After a morning filled entertaining anything and everything that we heard would induce labor no mater how ridiculous it seemed, (walks, pregnant break dancing, massages, chiropractic alignments and other "activities"), we decided to catch an early movie.
After the movie was over and the nearly full bag of over priced popcorn and soda were tossed in to the waste basket we headed home. It was still late afternoon, we had a snack and watched the season finale of Top Chef (an under whelming season). While my parents, (whom were staying with us the last days to help out) were making dinner, Ash and I ventured on yet another walk around the neighborhood and that is when she told me that she had a few contractions. Not wanting to get too excited over a few contractions we tried not to talk about it but it became apparent that this was not false labor, we must have stopped four or five times for her to absorb the 20-30 second bursts of pain.
Upon arriving home my parents surprised us with what they made, a romantic "dinner for two". Sweet of them right? We decided not to share the news until we were absolutely sure. As we ate our meal, the contractions started to come closer together. After dinner we headed upstairs to our bedroom and looked at the previous hours' statistics (which we kept via an App from the android marketplace). The stats warranted a call to Ash's parents which was around 7pm, Susan answered and I asked "are your bags packed"?, "yeah, why?" said Susan "because we're having a baby".
Susan and Dempsey arrived from Ashland around 9:30. I put the bags in the car, locked in the Chicco infant car seat and went back upstairs to check on Ash. After laboring at home in the bath and on the yoga ball, contractions started to come more rapidly, four minutes apart, lasting for an average of 90 seconds. It was time to head to the hospital.
cont.....
We were hoping to provoke the miracle by putting ourselves in those less than convenient situations because we desperately wanted to meet our little man. To be fair we were SEVEN days past our due date, we just figured that we could tempt fate and at the very least, we'd have a jaw dropping story to tell about the circumstances surrounding our labor.
Many of you already know the play by play, but seeing how that this is my journal of sorts I'll proceed like you don't so that years later I can look back and get a warm dose of nostalgia when reading this.
Monday morning was here, the start of the work week and I decided that even though Ash was not in labor or even showing any signs, that I would not go in to work. Being seven days over due, there was no end to the question from my co-workers "George, when you gonna have that baby? I couldn't take another day of it. Don't take me wrong, I am grateful to all that were concerned and showed genuine excitement for me but that question got to be the equivalent of hearing nails run down a chalk board that stretched a city block.
I knew that we had a doctor appointment early Tuesday morning, and more than likely we would be induced if we didn't go in to labor on Monday so Ashleigh and I decided to take advantage of one more "George and Ash day". After a morning filled entertaining anything and everything that we heard would induce labor no mater how ridiculous it seemed, (walks, pregnant break dancing, massages, chiropractic alignments and other "activities"), we decided to catch an early movie.
After the movie was over and the nearly full bag of over priced popcorn and soda were tossed in to the waste basket we headed home. It was still late afternoon, we had a snack and watched the season finale of Top Chef (an under whelming season). While my parents, (whom were staying with us the last days to help out) were making dinner, Ash and I ventured on yet another walk around the neighborhood and that is when she told me that she had a few contractions. Not wanting to get too excited over a few contractions we tried not to talk about it but it became apparent that this was not false labor, we must have stopped four or five times for her to absorb the 20-30 second bursts of pain.
Upon arriving home my parents surprised us with what they made, a romantic "dinner for two". Sweet of them right? We decided not to share the news until we were absolutely sure. As we ate our meal, the contractions started to come closer together. After dinner we headed upstairs to our bedroom and looked at the previous hours' statistics (which we kept via an App from the android marketplace). The stats warranted a call to Ash's parents which was around 7pm, Susan answered and I asked "are your bags packed"?, "yeah, why?" said Susan "because we're having a baby".
Susan and Dempsey arrived from Ashland around 9:30. I put the bags in the car, locked in the Chicco infant car seat and went back upstairs to check on Ash. After laboring at home in the bath and on the yoga ball, contractions started to come more rapidly, four minutes apart, lasting for an average of 90 seconds. It was time to head to the hospital.
cont.....
Pierce Zachary Hernandez
Born September 21, 2010 @ 4:47am
He weighed in @ 7lbs 14oz and measured 21 inches long.
P - patient
I - independent
E - engaging
R - rational
C - consciences
E - empathetic
more to come....
much more...............
He weighed in @ 7lbs 14oz and measured 21 inches long.
P - patient
I - independent
E - engaging
R - rational
C - consciences
E - empathetic
more to come....
much more...............
Friday, August 27, 2010
Left Hook!
Ashleigh, Pierce and I have been blessed with a smooth sailing, uneventful pregnancy (easy for daddy to say right?). That's not to say that there haven't been ups and downs, everything is relative but the last 38 weeks haven't been complicated.
You do all of the things that you are supposed to do as conscientious, loving and expecting parents: Daily Prenatal vitamins check, drinking plenty of water and then drinking a little more check, eating 47 small meals and snacks a day check, walk and exercise check, prenatal yoga check, pregnancy classes check, reading reviews on strollers, watching every headline about crib recalls and taking meticulous notes on anything and everything that has to do with the most important job that you will ever have CHECK PLUS!
After the check list is complete and you have purchased the car seat and picked out the bedding, after the nursery is painted and the closet is organized, after the crib is put together and the chair rail securely brad nailed and leveled on the wall, the only hurdles that remain are the last few doctor visits once a week for the last month.
With anticipation and anxiety at the apex you look forward to hear from your health care provider that all is well and the only thing left is to wait for GOD to complete your miracle and deliver him in to your arms. Only maybe everything is NOT OK?
Maybe, there might possibly, sort of could be a problematic variable?
"Let's do an additional ultra sound to be sure"?
I (like many people) make a concentrated effort to calculate all "what ifs" for the week, the month and the year so that I can be as prepared as humanly possible for any outlier that rears it's unexpected head.
I was gut shot! My guard down, I took a left hook that caught me clean on the temple.
"OK, doc we'll see you in two days for the ultra sound".
The orb of love and comfort that I have described before, softened. With 48 hours to digest, analyze and agonize, my thoughts ranged from one end of the spectrum to the other with the majority of them hunkering down on the more miserable side of the two.
We went through what most parents have experienced at one time or another. The crippling fear of the unknown, accompanied by a knot at the bottom of your throat which makes it impossible to swallow and ultimately you taste a salty substance on the edge of your mouth. We were treading water with cinder blocks around our ankles but giving in to the overwhelming feeling of helplessness was not an option.
After recovering from the initial impact and the irrational thoughts subsided, an innate sense of "mommy/daddy" strength emerged. A new check list of questions and concerns created and each item needed to be picked off with the same efficiency as the last, whatever it takes to regain the balance and put us back on our toes.
With appropriate due diligence executed it was determined that ALL IS WELL! There is nothing to fear. It really seemed like a series of unfortunate events took place. If any one of the six scenarios on that initial day were different, chances are there never would have been a concern, the doctor would have never called to inform us of the unnecessary ultra sound. The mental anguish would have been avoided.
One thing came to the fore front with this experience; it appears that with the stakes being higher than they can ever be, what I learned while my knees were weak and my heart aching is that as a parent, there are moments when you have less control than you've ever had before. It's out of your hands, there is little that you can do and that is terrifying!
With Love, Support and Faith as our smelling salt and life jackets we got through it. I told all 7 of you that moving forward, this blog was mainly going to be about being a Husband and a Daddy. My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just working out in my head, what the Silver and Black Lining is.
You do all of the things that you are supposed to do as conscientious, loving and expecting parents: Daily Prenatal vitamins check, drinking plenty of water and then drinking a little more check, eating 47 small meals and snacks a day check, walk and exercise check, prenatal yoga check, pregnancy classes check, reading reviews on strollers, watching every headline about crib recalls and taking meticulous notes on anything and everything that has to do with the most important job that you will ever have CHECK PLUS!
After the check list is complete and you have purchased the car seat and picked out the bedding, after the nursery is painted and the closet is organized, after the crib is put together and the chair rail securely brad nailed and leveled on the wall, the only hurdles that remain are the last few doctor visits once a week for the last month.
With anticipation and anxiety at the apex you look forward to hear from your health care provider that all is well and the only thing left is to wait for GOD to complete your miracle and deliver him in to your arms. Only maybe everything is NOT OK?
Maybe, there might possibly, sort of could be a problematic variable?
"Let's do an additional ultra sound to be sure"?
I (like many people) make a concentrated effort to calculate all "what ifs" for the week, the month and the year so that I can be as prepared as humanly possible for any outlier that rears it's unexpected head.
I was gut shot! My guard down, I took a left hook that caught me clean on the temple.
"OK, doc we'll see you in two days for the ultra sound".
The orb of love and comfort that I have described before, softened. With 48 hours to digest, analyze and agonize, my thoughts ranged from one end of the spectrum to the other with the majority of them hunkering down on the more miserable side of the two.
We went through what most parents have experienced at one time or another. The crippling fear of the unknown, accompanied by a knot at the bottom of your throat which makes it impossible to swallow and ultimately you taste a salty substance on the edge of your mouth. We were treading water with cinder blocks around our ankles but giving in to the overwhelming feeling of helplessness was not an option.
After recovering from the initial impact and the irrational thoughts subsided, an innate sense of "mommy/daddy" strength emerged. A new check list of questions and concerns created and each item needed to be picked off with the same efficiency as the last, whatever it takes to regain the balance and put us back on our toes.
With appropriate due diligence executed it was determined that ALL IS WELL! There is nothing to fear. It really seemed like a series of unfortunate events took place. If any one of the six scenarios on that initial day were different, chances are there never would have been a concern, the doctor would have never called to inform us of the unnecessary ultra sound. The mental anguish would have been avoided.
One thing came to the fore front with this experience; it appears that with the stakes being higher than they can ever be, what I learned while my knees were weak and my heart aching is that as a parent, there are moments when you have less control than you've ever had before. It's out of your hands, there is little that you can do and that is terrifying!
With Love, Support and Faith as our smelling salt and life jackets we got through it. I told all 7 of you that moving forward, this blog was mainly going to be about being a Husband and a Daddy. My experiences are new to me, the lessons learned are probably not new to you. Most of the time, I'm just working out in my head, what the Silver and Black Lining is.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
At First Glance
After a satisfying excursion to Pottery Barn Kids, one in which my wife accomplished gathering the final accents/accessories to the nursery we decided to treat ourselves to a nice meal at Jeff Ruby's Louisville Restaurant at the Galt House. Why not, we're five weeks from having a newborn, our four year anny is upcoming, who knows when we'll have that opportunity again right?
It's always interesting to see how we're treated at nice restaurants, we're usually the youngest couple in the room, which shouldn't matter, you figure a place with that type of reputation delivers good service. The Fleur de Lys in San Francisco is an exemplary example of million dollar service no matter what. On this night you could tell through the hostesses phony pleasantries and the server's fake smile that they were less than enthusiastic. Our server was a middle aged male with thinning hair and it was subtly apparent that we were not his "ideal" clientele.
I never let these observations affect what is most important, the reason I was there was to have a satisfying meal and share a nice experience with my love. I don't brude over or preceive any slight. In between conversation, shrimp cocktail and ordering my fillet and lobster I noticed that aside from a few employees, there were only a handful of minorities dining in the restaurant. That detection served as a catalyst for a common topic of conversation these last nine months, our hopes and goals for Pierce.
One of my goals is to make sure he knows where he came from, a task that is challenging for a couple of reasons: not only is he three generations removed from Jorge and Cruz Hernandez, but also the first to not have a direct connection to them. My desire and part of the challenge is not just for him to know where he came from but for it to be important to him.
Assimilation for future generations of immigrant families is inevitable. Often times it seems like it's a prerequisite for progressing up the "ladder" and advancing in social standing. Balancing success in any circumstance is vital but especially when you risk losing a grasp on your roots.
After coffee and creme brulee, Ashleigh decided to powder her nose. She went ahead while I waited to settle the tab. I gave the server our valet ticket, thanked him for his service and walked to the bar to wait for my date.
As I was waiting next to the bar and foyer area, an older white guy wearing a polo and khaki shorts, (below the "business casual" dress code described on the restaurant's web page) approached me, extended his hand to give me something and asked me:
"do you mind taking care of this for me"?
An empty Bud Light can lay in his open palm. His party (three couples) while waiting for a table were enjoying a few drinks. It appeared to me that he was the only one "classy" enough to order a Bud Light in a $45 a plate establishment, the others were drinking wine and having cocktails.
At first glance he saw a young Hispanic man in a black dress shirt and assumed I was on staff. I looked back at him, surveyed the rest of his crew and took a step closer.
Side Note: It feels like a fitting time to point out that another goal I have for Pierce is making sure he realizes the importance of collecting his emotions before taking measured and appropriate action so as not to compromise himself in anyway......
Wearing a smarmy smile and delivered in a controlled tone that exudes confidence, something I have perfected over the last decade, (a few of you might know what I am talking about):
"yes, matter of fact I do mind, I'm not taking care of anything for you"
Completely caught off guard, he responded:
"Excuse me"?
I leaned in (to let him in on what he overlooked), firmly and politely pointed out:
"I don't work here bro".
Embarrassed, the man responded "oh, I'm sorry.", while the rest of his party and surrounding witnesses rained laughter upon him, he stepped two feet to his left and tossed the can away. The hostess (in a manner more congenial than we experienced) called their name and escorted them to their table without another word shared between us.
I hesitated in adding some of the aforementioned details because I don't want to give the impression that he or anyone ruined our evening, we weren't mistreated. If I only took one glace at the room and situation, I might not have observed any of those coincidental details. I guess that's the point though, next time take more than one glance. In the end, it was a merely a footnote to a beautiful day and memorable experience we shared as husband & wife and now MOM & DAD.
It's always interesting to see how we're treated at nice restaurants, we're usually the youngest couple in the room, which shouldn't matter, you figure a place with that type of reputation delivers good service. The Fleur de Lys in San Francisco is an exemplary example of million dollar service no matter what. On this night you could tell through the hostesses phony pleasantries and the server's fake smile that they were less than enthusiastic. Our server was a middle aged male with thinning hair and it was subtly apparent that we were not his "ideal" clientele.
I never let these observations affect what is most important, the reason I was there was to have a satisfying meal and share a nice experience with my love. I don't brude over or preceive any slight. In between conversation, shrimp cocktail and ordering my fillet and lobster I noticed that aside from a few employees, there were only a handful of minorities dining in the restaurant. That detection served as a catalyst for a common topic of conversation these last nine months, our hopes and goals for Pierce.
One of my goals is to make sure he knows where he came from, a task that is challenging for a couple of reasons: not only is he three generations removed from Jorge and Cruz Hernandez, but also the first to not have a direct connection to them. My desire and part of the challenge is not just for him to know where he came from but for it to be important to him.
Assimilation for future generations of immigrant families is inevitable. Often times it seems like it's a prerequisite for progressing up the "ladder" and advancing in social standing. Balancing success in any circumstance is vital but especially when you risk losing a grasp on your roots.
After coffee and creme brulee, Ashleigh decided to powder her nose. She went ahead while I waited to settle the tab. I gave the server our valet ticket, thanked him for his service and walked to the bar to wait for my date.
As I was waiting next to the bar and foyer area, an older white guy wearing a polo and khaki shorts, (below the "business casual" dress code described on the restaurant's web page) approached me, extended his hand to give me something and asked me:
"do you mind taking care of this for me"?
An empty Bud Light can lay in his open palm. His party (three couples) while waiting for a table were enjoying a few drinks. It appeared to me that he was the only one "classy" enough to order a Bud Light in a $45 a plate establishment, the others were drinking wine and having cocktails.
At first glance he saw a young Hispanic man in a black dress shirt and assumed I was on staff. I looked back at him, surveyed the rest of his crew and took a step closer.
Side Note: It feels like a fitting time to point out that another goal I have for Pierce is making sure he realizes the importance of collecting his emotions before taking measured and appropriate action so as not to compromise himself in anyway......
Wearing a smarmy smile and delivered in a controlled tone that exudes confidence, something I have perfected over the last decade, (a few of you might know what I am talking about):
"yes, matter of fact I do mind, I'm not taking care of anything for you"
Completely caught off guard, he responded:
"Excuse me"?
I leaned in (to let him in on what he overlooked), firmly and politely pointed out:
"I don't work here bro".
Embarrassed, the man responded "oh, I'm sorry.", while the rest of his party and surrounding witnesses rained laughter upon him, he stepped two feet to his left and tossed the can away. The hostess (in a manner more congenial than we experienced) called their name and escorted them to their table without another word shared between us.
I hesitated in adding some of the aforementioned details because I don't want to give the impression that he or anyone ruined our evening, we weren't mistreated. If I only took one glace at the room and situation, I might not have observed any of those coincidental details. I guess that's the point though, next time take more than one glance. In the end, it was a merely a footnote to a beautiful day and memorable experience we shared as husband & wife and now MOM & DAD.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Surprise!
To my amazing wife and her reliable team, Thank You for your tremendous efforts in throwing me a surprise soiree.
I know it wasn't easy! I think it's been about 15 years since I've had a gala thrown for me, that has consisted of more than immediate family. Complete with balloons, cake and salami, it was a symbol of your thoughtfulness.
Knowing I would not agree to it otherwise and proceeding anyway because you knew how special it could be, illustrates your dedication and foreshadows the theme of your motherhood.
Thank you to all of you who took time out of your busy Thursday evenings to make it a success.
Much Appreciation and Love....
I know it wasn't easy! I think it's been about 15 years since I've had a gala thrown for me, that has consisted of more than immediate family. Complete with balloons, cake and salami, it was a symbol of your thoughtfulness.
Knowing I would not agree to it otherwise and proceeding anyway because you knew how special it could be, illustrates your dedication and foreshadows the theme of your motherhood.
Thank you to all of you who took time out of your busy Thursday evenings to make it a success.
Much Appreciation and Love....
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Chapters
I feel like I just ran five laps around a strange obstacle course that I am sure I'll run again. With each lap representing a week, our schedule between the busiest time of year for both of us at work and being in the heart of an interesting 40 week period in team GeoLeigh's life, has been eventful to say the least. I am so fortunate to experience it with my most favoritist person in the whole existence of life.
With all of that said, we finally were able to squezze in a respite and I am proud to say that I've had an insightful 96 hours. Bookended by two pleasureable conversations, one with the most beautiful pregnant mama in the world and the other with my lil sis. I feel refreshed! I am amped for the stretch run that all 7 of you are more than a little bit familiar with.
Each of us have our own challenges. Challenges that we face individually but that we can overcome with guidance and support from the people that we trust and love. I realize that not everyone has a close council of family and friends that can be relied upon, It's a luxary that can't be overlooked or abused. Between the Lidowski Clan and Team Qualnandez, our entourage is adding three new "Goodfellas". Three new additions, and an infinite number of challenges.
Several of you have asked me what I am looking forward to most about being a Daddy. It is a question that is not easy for me to answer, because how do you discount holding your baby's hand the first time they walk against nursing them through their first broken heart. One happy time versus a sad time. I'm not saying that I am eager for Pierce to have his heart broken but I am eager to see how he responds and I look forward to being by his side both times.
Maybe I am being a little too analytical but what I am trying to point out (not so well) is that what makes a relationship strong, are the bad times as well as the good. If I have to pick one thing that I am looking forward to the most, it's simply BEING THERE for HIM and for HIS MOM. Whether it is a dirty diaper, a band aid on a scuffed knee or teaching him the value of keeping a cool head, I look forward to the challenge of being there everyday.
Uttered in every valedictorian's commencement speech, "chapters" are often used in metaphors about different phases of our lives. My co-auhor and I have taken advantage of beautiful blessings that have been put in front of us. We've successfully started and finished three chapters. We look forward to the volumes ahead.
With all of that said, we finally were able to squezze in a respite and I am proud to say that I've had an insightful 96 hours. Bookended by two pleasureable conversations, one with the most beautiful pregnant mama in the world and the other with my lil sis. I feel refreshed! I am amped for the stretch run that all 7 of you are more than a little bit familiar with.
Each of us have our own challenges. Challenges that we face individually but that we can overcome with guidance and support from the people that we trust and love. I realize that not everyone has a close council of family and friends that can be relied upon, It's a luxary that can't be overlooked or abused. Between the Lidowski Clan and Team Qualnandez, our entourage is adding three new "Goodfellas". Three new additions, and an infinite number of challenges.
Several of you have asked me what I am looking forward to most about being a Daddy. It is a question that is not easy for me to answer, because how do you discount holding your baby's hand the first time they walk against nursing them through their first broken heart. One happy time versus a sad time. I'm not saying that I am eager for Pierce to have his heart broken but I am eager to see how he responds and I look forward to being by his side both times.
Maybe I am being a little too analytical but what I am trying to point out (not so well) is that what makes a relationship strong, are the bad times as well as the good. If I have to pick one thing that I am looking forward to the most, it's simply BEING THERE for HIM and for HIS MOM. Whether it is a dirty diaper, a band aid on a scuffed knee or teaching him the value of keeping a cool head, I look forward to the challenge of being there everyday.
Uttered in every valedictorian's commencement speech, "chapters" are often used in metaphors about different phases of our lives. My co-auhor and I have taken advantage of beautiful blessings that have been put in front of us. We've successfully started and finished three chapters. We look forward to the volumes ahead.
"Happy 32 Day Anni"
I had the pleasure of attending one of life's more special events 32 days ago. The ceremony by virtue has a deep symbolic meaning but it is enhanced when the two participants are kind, genuine and deserving.
I wish you both all of life's great pleasures.
Congratulations, Mrs. and Mr. Jackson.
I wish you both all of life's great pleasures.
Congratulations, Mrs. and Mr. Jackson.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Inch by Inch
"You know what is great about finding out that you are going to be a parent? It is that nature gives you nine months to prepare."
W.Z.
Little does our little papaya know, that while he is preparing for his big introduction to the world, his parents as apart of their preparation, are carefully checking off items on their "to do" list.
One item is cemented a top the proverbial list and I cannot say with any certainty that I have placed a check mark next to it everyday for the past 23 weeks. I have been so caught up in the prep, I looked toward my baby's mama yesterday and noticed that Pierce has really decided to make his presence visible. Seems like he has pushed himself out a whole inch or better.
That observation, I have decided is part of my preparation. A lesson, that as a parent I pay close attention to him despite what is on the daily agenda.
I know for most of us this common sense, I am not trying to claim a new poignant outlook on life. I guess my larger observation is that during these last few months, it seems like I've been equipped with a new set of scopes and my thoughts are traveling through a different filter.
There is no telling what garble I'll splatter all over this blog as we get closer to September 13Th. I'm sure most of the content will be inspired by Pierce Zachery and his beautiful mother and that won't be such a bad thing. If I could put a check-plus next to the box that reads "make sure you are inspired by your family" everyday, I'll be at peace.
W.Z.
Little does our little papaya know, that while he is preparing for his big introduction to the world, his parents as apart of their preparation, are carefully checking off items on their "to do" list.
One item is cemented a top the proverbial list and I cannot say with any certainty that I have placed a check mark next to it everyday for the past 23 weeks. I have been so caught up in the prep, I looked toward my baby's mama yesterday and noticed that Pierce has really decided to make his presence visible. Seems like he has pushed himself out a whole inch or better.
That observation, I have decided is part of my preparation. A lesson, that as a parent I pay close attention to him despite what is on the daily agenda.
I know for most of us this common sense, I am not trying to claim a new poignant outlook on life. I guess my larger observation is that during these last few months, it seems like I've been equipped with a new set of scopes and my thoughts are traveling through a different filter.
There is no telling what garble I'll splatter all over this blog as we get closer to September 13Th. I'm sure most of the content will be inspired by Pierce Zachery and his beautiful mother and that won't be such a bad thing. If I could put a check-plus next to the box that reads "make sure you are inspired by your family" everyday, I'll be at peace.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
He-Man vs Chuck Norris
Does anyone know, at what point in your life you start to become skeptical? My theory puts that point at about 24 to 36 months (started referencing in terms of months after my trip to baby gap).
When you were two (give or take a few months) and your parents introduced the concept of sharing, I think the majority of us became skeptical. Your mom or dad asked you to share with whomever and at that precise moment your brow crinkled up for the first time. You might not have said "wait a minute" but you were thinking, "wait a second, explain that again, I have to play with the CHUCK NORRIS doll because the kid YOU invited over wants to play with my HE-MAN action figure".
There is nothing profound about pointing out that the basic principles of sharing suggest that you will have less than if you didn't have to share at all. Whether it be less toys to play with, less cookies to eat or less space to live if someone else is around you are not going to get as much. I am speaking of only tangible objects of course.
You might have a little less room on the couch when you share it with your loved one for a Sunday afternoon nap but you can't argue that those thirty minutes would have been better by yourself. Just the same, few things beat the feeling you get when you share a moment or event in your life with the people or person you love.
Altruism is defined as: the unselfish regard or devotion to the welfare of others, or behavior by an animal that is not beneficial to or may be harmful to itself but benefits others of its species. Many disagree with the fundamentals of altruism, they argue the idea is flawed, EVERY action an animal makes, regardless of how selfless it may appear is done for its OWN survival or peace of mind.
Though provoking arguments can be made against altruism, anyone who firmly believes it doesn't exist, really hated Chuck Norris as a child.
Our experience was enhanced sharing the moment we learned whom our new addition was. We look forward to the first time Pierce Zachery Hernandez crinkles his brow and we can't hardly wait to share many more events with all of you who read this blog (I am up to five faithful followers now, yippee!).
When you were two (give or take a few months) and your parents introduced the concept of sharing, I think the majority of us became skeptical. Your mom or dad asked you to share with whomever and at that precise moment your brow crinkled up for the first time. You might not have said "wait a minute" but you were thinking, "wait a second, explain that again, I have to play with the CHUCK NORRIS doll because the kid YOU invited over wants to play with my HE-MAN action figure".
There is nothing profound about pointing out that the basic principles of sharing suggest that you will have less than if you didn't have to share at all. Whether it be less toys to play with, less cookies to eat or less space to live if someone else is around you are not going to get as much. I am speaking of only tangible objects of course.
You might have a little less room on the couch when you share it with your loved one for a Sunday afternoon nap but you can't argue that those thirty minutes would have been better by yourself. Just the same, few things beat the feeling you get when you share a moment or event in your life with the people or person you love.
Altruism is defined as: the unselfish regard or devotion to the welfare of others, or behavior by an animal that is not beneficial to or may be harmful to itself but benefits others of its species. Many disagree with the fundamentals of altruism, they argue the idea is flawed, EVERY action an animal makes, regardless of how selfless it may appear is done for its OWN survival or peace of mind.
Though provoking arguments can be made against altruism, anyone who firmly believes it doesn't exist, really hated Chuck Norris as a child.
Our experience was enhanced sharing the moment we learned whom our new addition was. We look forward to the first time Pierce Zachery Hernandez crinkles his brow and we can't hardly wait to share many more events with all of you who read this blog (I am up to five faithful followers now, yippee!).
Friday, April 23, 2010
Legion Grey
Know, that while we have not lived down the block from each other in quite some time, we are just as close. There are few that I respect, more than you.
I Look forward to the day when our women are watching our children play so that we can share a highball and smoke a couple of cigars while watching the sequel to Ravenous.
Be Safe and we'll see you soon...
Cattle
I Look forward to the day when our women are watching our children play so that we can share a highball and smoke a couple of cigars while watching the sequel to Ravenous.
Be Safe and we'll see you soon...
Cattle
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Charcoal vs Propane
Depending on which website you visit, the Earth cruises along at about 1000 mph. We hear and use many expressions about time; "time flies when you are having fun", "this year is flying by"," "where has this month gone"?
I sometimes wonder if time "flew" at the beginning of time? Did Caveman sit around the proverbial fire and grunt to themselves about how "the year had just got away from them"? Did time fly when they were foraging for nuts and shelter or killing saber tooth tigers with sticks. Did Romans feel like life was zipping along after exiting the Colosseo? I can't imagine anyone thinking to themselves during the Dust Bowl or the 1930s in general that life was a breeze?
The distractions in today's 4G world make it difficult to stop and smell the roses sometimes. How can we get information faster. We faxed, emailed, now we text. We download any information that we want in less than 10 seconds. With everyone trying to figure out how to speed things up, lost is the practice of appreciating the small things.
Most will agree that the taste of food grilled using charcoal is superior to that prepared over propane. Why then would we use propane? The answer is simply that it's faster and more convenient. The quality sacrificed is probably minimal but it speaks to my larger point. Besides the food being amazing, as a child, I loved when we grilled because I got to spend time with my Dad. While the coals were burning, we played. We threw the football or the baseball or my parents just watched us ride our bikes and play.
It is probably natural to come to the realization at one point in your life that time is precious. I am sure that realization correlates with prioritizing your life. When one arrives at the precipice, deciding on who and what is most important in their life, that is when time will cease to matter in the figurative sense. As long as you figure out those variables, you'll be able to live in the moment and focus your energy on the important things.
Figuring "it" out will probably not keep us from one day starting a sentence with "it seems like only yesterday.....", hopefully though, when your last breath is exiting your body, you'll exhale knowing that you didn't sacrifice too many of the important moments.
I sometimes wonder if time "flew" at the beginning of time? Did Caveman sit around the proverbial fire and grunt to themselves about how "the year had just got away from them"? Did time fly when they were foraging for nuts and shelter or killing saber tooth tigers with sticks. Did Romans feel like life was zipping along after exiting the Colosseo? I can't imagine anyone thinking to themselves during the Dust Bowl or the 1930s in general that life was a breeze?
The distractions in today's 4G world make it difficult to stop and smell the roses sometimes. How can we get information faster. We faxed, emailed, now we text. We download any information that we want in less than 10 seconds. With everyone trying to figure out how to speed things up, lost is the practice of appreciating the small things.
Most will agree that the taste of food grilled using charcoal is superior to that prepared over propane. Why then would we use propane? The answer is simply that it's faster and more convenient. The quality sacrificed is probably minimal but it speaks to my larger point. Besides the food being amazing, as a child, I loved when we grilled because I got to spend time with my Dad. While the coals were burning, we played. We threw the football or the baseball or my parents just watched us ride our bikes and play.
It is probably natural to come to the realization at one point in your life that time is precious. I am sure that realization correlates with prioritizing your life. When one arrives at the precipice, deciding on who and what is most important in their life, that is when time will cease to matter in the figurative sense. As long as you figure out those variables, you'll be able to live in the moment and focus your energy on the important things.
Figuring "it" out will probably not keep us from one day starting a sentence with "it seems like only yesterday.....", hopefully though, when your last breath is exiting your body, you'll exhale knowing that you didn't sacrifice too many of the important moments.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Home and Garden
As we travel down the road of our lives we pass certain mile markers. Some of these markers, we are very proud of: graduating from high school/college, marriage, buying a house, all come to mind. I recently experienced a new level of grownup-ness that left me in a cloud of confusion that I am still trying to sort through.
I've had conversations before about "adult" moments. Adult moments occur when you are transitioning from young adulthood to a fully independent adult. Often times you have this realization that you are not a kid anymore because you have to sacrifice a recreational act for a more responsible one.
One of my most memorable adult moments came when I was paying bills and watching a favorite childhood movie. I don't remember what was going through my mind when I watched the movie BIG for the first time, (I was ten years old) I can tell you with 100% certainty that I was not thinking the next time I watched this movie I would be writing a check to the water company 12 years later. That was an "adult" moment!
There have been countless more since then. The first time you go to bed at 9:30 is always a tough pill to swallow. Aches and pains after physical activity are depressing. Shopping for health insurance and for some reason buying mulch or fertilizer is always a sobering experience.
This current event/ experience was an adult moment to the 3rd power. It took place April 11 at Heritage Hall inside the famed Rupp Arena. The event: The 35th annual Home and Garden Show. My better half and I have committed to a more spontaneous, more outgoing schedule this spring/summer (while we have the opportunity). Our attendance WAS a spontaneous act, discussed and decided, while reading the Sunday paper (adult moment), that morning on the patio of our new favorite brunch spot "Doodles". It is an important detail to note because we did not anticipate attending this event, this was not a "Dave Matthews Concert" that was circled on the calender months in advance.
First of all, I expected a lot more garden and a lot less booths involving the latest and greatest fruit cutting technology. As soon as we walked in to Heritage Hall, I realized that our sanity for the remainder of the day was going to depend on navigating through the crowd and vendors in the least amount of time while spending least amount of money.
As I stood watching the presentation of the all new versa grater, (which grates countless different cheeses and peppers) it hit me, "I just passed a new mile marker". I am not ashamed of seeing the appeal in the latest foam insulation technology, or wanting a Pergola and new Patio area. I don't want a hundred different garden flags but trellises are cool.
At the end of the day, I was 24 hours older but felt like I aged ten years and I am comfortable with that. I came to the realization that I acted ten years older than I am around age 11, when I bought a short sleeved button down shirt with my OWN money (don't worry Linda, it was on sale). The Home and Garden Show was just another button down shirt....
I've had conversations before about "adult" moments. Adult moments occur when you are transitioning from young adulthood to a fully independent adult. Often times you have this realization that you are not a kid anymore because you have to sacrifice a recreational act for a more responsible one.
One of my most memorable adult moments came when I was paying bills and watching a favorite childhood movie. I don't remember what was going through my mind when I watched the movie BIG for the first time, (I was ten years old) I can tell you with 100% certainty that I was not thinking the next time I watched this movie I would be writing a check to the water company 12 years later. That was an "adult" moment!
There have been countless more since then. The first time you go to bed at 9:30 is always a tough pill to swallow. Aches and pains after physical activity are depressing. Shopping for health insurance and for some reason buying mulch or fertilizer is always a sobering experience.
This current event/ experience was an adult moment to the 3rd power. It took place April 11 at Heritage Hall inside the famed Rupp Arena. The event: The 35th annual Home and Garden Show. My better half and I have committed to a more spontaneous, more outgoing schedule this spring/summer (while we have the opportunity). Our attendance WAS a spontaneous act, discussed and decided, while reading the Sunday paper (adult moment), that morning on the patio of our new favorite brunch spot "Doodles". It is an important detail to note because we did not anticipate attending this event, this was not a "Dave Matthews Concert" that was circled on the calender months in advance.
First of all, I expected a lot more garden and a lot less booths involving the latest and greatest fruit cutting technology. As soon as we walked in to Heritage Hall, I realized that our sanity for the remainder of the day was going to depend on navigating through the crowd and vendors in the least amount of time while spending least amount of money.
As I stood watching the presentation of the all new versa grater, (which grates countless different cheeses and peppers) it hit me, "I just passed a new mile marker". I am not ashamed of seeing the appeal in the latest foam insulation technology, or wanting a Pergola and new Patio area. I don't want a hundred different garden flags but trellises are cool.
At the end of the day, I was 24 hours older but felt like I aged ten years and I am comfortable with that. I came to the realization that I acted ten years older than I am around age 11, when I bought a short sleeved button down shirt with my OWN money (don't worry Linda, it was on sale). The Home and Garden Show was just another button down shirt....
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Good, Better, Best
The circumstances under which one discovers they are going to be a parent vary. From surprise to mild planning to obsessive charts and graphs, the possibilities stretch to the moon and back and probably back again.
I can't speak for everyone, sometimes I am guilty of over thinking the room, (buying a lawnmower comes to mind as an example). When I found out that I was going to hold the most important title a man can ever have, my heart and my brain went to a level of elation and concern that I have never experienced before. I mentioned on a few occasions that I didn't exactly know which adjective to describe how I felt because my emotions ran the gamut.
The news is now eighteen weeks old and I have had an adequate amount of time to wrap my thoughts around our little "sweet potato". While I've had the time to think about the soon to be new Hernandez, I have also taken an equal amount of time to examine myself. I have toiled over how or what I need to do to be everything that my family needs me to be. How can I be BETTER for all of us? I'll spare you the details on how I am planning on adapting. I will say that I can certainly do a better job of not feeling like I have to be in control of everything.
I've envisioned his/her birth, birthdays, bike rides, tee ball, bedtime stories heck I've already seen the kid graduate a couple of times! While I know that all of those things will come faster than I would like, as long as our family navigates this world and this life in an orb of love and communication than we'll come out on top more than we are at the bottom. I am going to my BEST to make sure that we are not at the bottom (literally and figuratively)....
I can't speak for everyone, sometimes I am guilty of over thinking the room, (buying a lawnmower comes to mind as an example). When I found out that I was going to hold the most important title a man can ever have, my heart and my brain went to a level of elation and concern that I have never experienced before. I mentioned on a few occasions that I didn't exactly know which adjective to describe how I felt because my emotions ran the gamut.
The news is now eighteen weeks old and I have had an adequate amount of time to wrap my thoughts around our little "sweet potato". While I've had the time to think about the soon to be new Hernandez, I have also taken an equal amount of time to examine myself. I have toiled over how or what I need to do to be everything that my family needs me to be. How can I be BETTER for all of us? I'll spare you the details on how I am planning on adapting. I will say that I can certainly do a better job of not feeling like I have to be in control of everything.
I've envisioned his/her birth, birthdays, bike rides, tee ball, bedtime stories heck I've already seen the kid graduate a couple of times! While I know that all of those things will come faster than I would like, as long as our family navigates this world and this life in an orb of love and communication than we'll come out on top more than we are at the bottom. I am going to my BEST to make sure that we are not at the bottom (literally and figuratively)....
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Dreams...
Dreams are like the ocean,
so mysterious and complex.
They can have great effects on you,
they can really vex.
I dream in the day,
I dream in the night.
I dream of the day
when I can hold my little loved one tight.
Dreams are like the ocean
So deep and so pure.
No one can take them away from you,
They are yours for sure.
The above poem was originally written on September 17, 1999. I found it in one of my old journals.
I have been very blessed in my short time on this planet and am very thankful. You are in my dreams little one. Wouldn't it be poetic if I met you on September 17, 2010?
so mysterious and complex.
They can have great effects on you,
they can really vex.
I dream in the day,
I dream in the night.
I dream of the day
when I can hold my little loved one tight.
Dreams are like the ocean
So deep and so pure.
No one can take them away from you,
They are yours for sure.
The above poem was originally written on September 17, 1999. I found it in one of my old journals.
I have been very blessed in my short time on this planet and am very thankful. You are in my dreams little one. Wouldn't it be poetic if I met you on September 17, 2010?
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Survey Says???
You are completing your purchase, signing your receipt or collecting change, when you are handed an eighteen inch receipt and it is mentioned to you by the clerk that "if you were to simply visit a website and take a quick survey and give us an excellent or give us the highest score possible than you might win a shopping spree or a year supply of toilet paper or a million dollars.
Today's consumer is more informed than ever before. Business has been reinvented entirely over the last twenty years. Companies are always trying to gain a competitive edge, that part has not changed. Anyone that has worked retail before, knows that it isn't always as simple as right and wrong. You always have consumers with unreasonable expectations. Demanding that they be compensated for any ridiculous inconvenience that they may have suffered. Most people are understanding and if they aren't then some are patient enough to overlook whatever small complaint they have.
How does this all connect? Customers are bit more brave when emailing their complaints. I recently received a complaint on my performance. I know most of your jaws just hit the floor. This customer said I spoke to him in a "cold monotone voice." I wasn't even involved in this customer's transaction, I just happened to pick up the phone when he called to gripe two weeks later. The only thing that I told him that might have been cold was the truth and you all know it wasn't in a "monotone" fashion.
I can't help if a program changes and your deal would have been a bit sweeter if you would have waited two weeks. The deal is done and by the same token if it would have been altered to negatively effect your deal you wouldn't come back to the dealer and say, "I know the rebate went away that I took advantage of two weeks ago so do you want me to give you an additional $500 to make up for it?
When you give someone your word or come to an agreement with a business then you should own up to it. Is it right that the same shirt you bought six weeks ago for $35is now $12, I don't know maybe the question should be "What the hell were you spending $35 on a shirt for?" Maybe your neighbor spent less on his deck than you did with the same company, if you didn't think it was a good deal, then as an adult you HAD the right to NOT take advantage of it. Once you commit, shake hands and write a check it should be end of story. If you want to re-negotiate, then you are at the mercy of whom ever you agreed with and if they don't see things your way, then they are not the bad guys.
Is it worth it to trump up a 90 second phone conversation with an agent of a company as the worst experience of your life so that you can get a couple of free oil changes? How much is your integrity worth?
Today's consumer is more informed than ever before. Business has been reinvented entirely over the last twenty years. Companies are always trying to gain a competitive edge, that part has not changed. Anyone that has worked retail before, knows that it isn't always as simple as right and wrong. You always have consumers with unreasonable expectations. Demanding that they be compensated for any ridiculous inconvenience that they may have suffered. Most people are understanding and if they aren't then some are patient enough to overlook whatever small complaint they have.
How does this all connect? Customers are bit more brave when emailing their complaints. I recently received a complaint on my performance. I know most of your jaws just hit the floor. This customer said I spoke to him in a "cold monotone voice." I wasn't even involved in this customer's transaction, I just happened to pick up the phone when he called to gripe two weeks later. The only thing that I told him that might have been cold was the truth and you all know it wasn't in a "monotone" fashion.
I can't help if a program changes and your deal would have been a bit sweeter if you would have waited two weeks. The deal is done and by the same token if it would have been altered to negatively effect your deal you wouldn't come back to the dealer and say, "I know the rebate went away that I took advantage of two weeks ago so do you want me to give you an additional $500 to make up for it?
When you give someone your word or come to an agreement with a business then you should own up to it. Is it right that the same shirt you bought six weeks ago for $35is now $12, I don't know maybe the question should be "What the hell were you spending $35 on a shirt for?" Maybe your neighbor spent less on his deck than you did with the same company, if you didn't think it was a good deal, then as an adult you HAD the right to NOT take advantage of it. Once you commit, shake hands and write a check it should be end of story. If you want to re-negotiate, then you are at the mercy of whom ever you agreed with and if they don't see things your way, then they are not the bad guys.
Is it worth it to trump up a 90 second phone conversation with an agent of a company as the worst experience of your life so that you can get a couple of free oil changes? How much is your integrity worth?
Thursday, March 18, 2010
What Happened to the Troublemaker in Class?
Just going to get right in to it...
Fact: There is no denying that my better half and I have avoided going to the SSO for 2+ years. We have been married for more than 3 years and did not rush out to get her name changed for a couple of different reasons; we were going to be using our passports and didn't want to go through the hassle of getting new ones immediately before our trip (which was scheduled soon after getting married) and we weren't in a rush to have her name officially changed. I didn't care if she changed it or not. I was never insecure about it, it never bothered me!
A culmination of factors finally prompted us to put a proverbial check mark next to the "change last name" item on the to do list.
We pulled in to the parking lot and upon opening the the car door, we were hit with a cloud of what can only be described of as a combination of body odor, ash trays and day old empty beer bottles. I will forever associate that smell with apathy.
The SSO opens at 9am, we entered the building at 9:15. On the back wall there were four windows, three of which were occupied with agents whom were servicing the early risers. The place had been open for 15 minutes and the security guard was already looking at his watch. The atmosphere in the room seemed to suck the energy out of anyone/anything that occupied it longer than 12 seconds. It was teeming with people that already had taken a number, after taking ours we relunctantly sat in the corner.
After 85 seconds, I empathized with the security guard. Three minutes in to the experience, my neighbor realized the guy across from him was an old high school buddy and they proceeded to reminisce, which would have been fine if they were next to each other but they were separated by more than twenty feet. We were all privy to the convo which consisted of comparing parole officers, food stamps and the holy grail "section 8". "I'm trying to get me a piece o dat sektion 8" one said to the other after comparing notes on the two local Hope Centers....
While taking it all in, I was speechless. I couldn't hear myself think. I tried to block it out and converse with my wife but after stuttering uhhs and umms (clearly distracted) I gave up.
I'll tell you what it was like....In grade/middle and high school, everyone had two or three kids in thier class that were different. You could tell they had a rough start to life, their home life wasn't "ideal". They came to school unkempt, they were loud and insolent and distracted. They were the ones that your parents didn't want to be friends with....right??? That Social Security Office was nothing more than a room full of those kids, they were all grown up, same story but different setting.
No doubt, there were people there for legitimate reasons with unfortunate circumstances, I realize that and am not insensitive to that. I am not an elitist, I know that some people cannot help themselves. But the overwhelming majority of people in that office were just trying to get a free ride. They were trying to do just enough to get by.
I can hear my parents now, "don't be lazy, do it right", weather they were talking about doing homework or cutting grass, it was the same philosophy. It takes twice as long when you "half ass it" (dad's words, not mom's) as opposed to doing it right the first time.
Fact: There is no denying that my better half and I have avoided going to the SSO for 2+ years. We have been married for more than 3 years and did not rush out to get her name changed for a couple of different reasons; we were going to be using our passports and didn't want to go through the hassle of getting new ones immediately before our trip (which was scheduled soon after getting married) and we weren't in a rush to have her name officially changed. I didn't care if she changed it or not. I was never insecure about it, it never bothered me!
A culmination of factors finally prompted us to put a proverbial check mark next to the "change last name" item on the to do list.
We pulled in to the parking lot and upon opening the the car door, we were hit with a cloud of what can only be described of as a combination of body odor, ash trays and day old empty beer bottles. I will forever associate that smell with apathy.
The SSO opens at 9am, we entered the building at 9:15. On the back wall there were four windows, three of which were occupied with agents whom were servicing the early risers. The place had been open for 15 minutes and the security guard was already looking at his watch. The atmosphere in the room seemed to suck the energy out of anyone/anything that occupied it longer than 12 seconds. It was teeming with people that already had taken a number, after taking ours we relunctantly sat in the corner.
After 85 seconds, I empathized with the security guard. Three minutes in to the experience, my neighbor realized the guy across from him was an old high school buddy and they proceeded to reminisce, which would have been fine if they were next to each other but they were separated by more than twenty feet. We were all privy to the convo which consisted of comparing parole officers, food stamps and the holy grail "section 8". "I'm trying to get me a piece o dat sektion 8" one said to the other after comparing notes on the two local Hope Centers....
While taking it all in, I was speechless. I couldn't hear myself think. I tried to block it out and converse with my wife but after stuttering uhhs and umms (clearly distracted) I gave up.
I'll tell you what it was like....In grade/middle and high school, everyone had two or three kids in thier class that were different. You could tell they had a rough start to life, their home life wasn't "ideal". They came to school unkempt, they were loud and insolent and distracted. They were the ones that your parents didn't want to be friends with....right??? That Social Security Office was nothing more than a room full of those kids, they were all grown up, same story but different setting.
No doubt, there were people there for legitimate reasons with unfortunate circumstances, I realize that and am not insensitive to that. I am not an elitist, I know that some people cannot help themselves. But the overwhelming majority of people in that office were just trying to get a free ride. They were trying to do just enough to get by.
I can hear my parents now, "don't be lazy, do it right", weather they were talking about doing homework or cutting grass, it was the same philosophy. It takes twice as long when you "half ass it" (dad's words, not mom's) as opposed to doing it right the first time.
occupied
I know it's been a while since my last published post. I feel like I should apologize to all 4 of my faithful blog readers but I won't....
All kidding aside, the last 10 weeks have been extremely exciting for me and I look forward to sharing my thoughts and emotions at the right time.
On a side note, I did import a blog from our 2007 trip to Italy.
more to come....
All kidding aside, the last 10 weeks have been extremely exciting for me and I look forward to sharing my thoughts and emotions at the right time.
On a side note, I did import a blog from our 2007 trip to Italy.
more to come....
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